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Steph Curry is the MVP.Ī life span of 80 or so years seems just about right in most respects, because there probably aren't more than 80 years' worth of good albums or conversations, but it does not allow for the broadness of perspective that would let us squint across the hills of time and know: "nothing is more precious than what is finite, no matter how crude or ugly." Our quest for progress, for perfection, leaves our follies as dead deer in the valleys and creek beds, arrows through the necks, killed not to be eaten, but to be killed. For now, all 440 players in the Association are like you and me: fallible. The Immortals wait in the wings, to be drafted in June. It is immediately clear that this is the last normal NBA season we will ever see. One player, Richmond's Joey Basketball, is scoring 45 points and pulling down 21 rebounds per game. They return with dozens of scouting reports, all of which look something like this. Throughout the season, the scouts of the NBA are sent to observe the 2015 draft class. We will check in on them as we await our extinction. Of the mortal players, five notable figures emerge over the course of the next decade: Isaiah Thomas, Kevin Durant, Timofey Mozgov, Kyrie Irving, and Anthony Davis. It's only right that when Steph Curry or Derrick Rose is forced out of the league, it happens by the hand of Giant Dipshit or Goldenrod Mathematician or Superman 4real, individuals so disappointed by the flaws of the NBA that they took to meter and verse. Those with the best poems, which I've scattered throughout this piece, were allowed to name a player. I asked y'all to name these players, and to write a poem about an imperfect NBA player, past or present, who disappointed you at some point along the way. for as long as it takes to push every real-world player out of the league for good. In 2016, I will feed them the exact same draft class of unstoppable immortals. At the 2015 NBA Draft, the teams of the league will find nothing but superhumans. This experiment efforts in the opposite direction: every player in this draft class is as large, strong, fast, and talented as the game will allow for. I need you to understand that everything in that sentence is true, and to know that the bottom has been found.
Nba 2k15 team rating full#
Last year I made each player a 5'4, no-talent basketball abomination, and we ended up with an Association full of unwatchable 12-overtime games that ended in 2-0 scores. If the game is to take us through a decades-long franchise mode, of course, it will need a class of players that can be drafted after each season, and it offers us the ability to create that draft class from scratch. The bones of this experiment are similar to those from last year's episode of NBA Y2K. Then I made hundreds more exactly like him. He is gigantic, and possesses a skill set unapproached by any player who has ever lived. I pushed all those ratings to 99, and I also stretched him to 7'2 with an 8'5 wingspan. There are dozens of individual sub-ratings for a player - shooting, ball handling, speed, vertical, passing. Well, I have decided that they made it for us, and for this. All the same, 2K15 does not budge: "we made this rating, and we made it for no one." If 99 isn't an indicator of omnipotence, it's just another, slightly higher arbitrary number that could easily have been awarded to the best player in the game. 496 throughout his career, and I doubt we're supposed to believe that he's one tick away from 1.000. Clearly, the 99 does not represent literal perfection: LeBron, rated 98, has shot.
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The 99 rating is claimed by no one, a page left intentionally blank. Out of the box, only three - LeBron James, Kevin Durant, and Chris Paul - hold a rating higher than 90. Each player in NBA 2K15 is assigned an overall 1-to-99 rating.